would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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