Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My pussy is not your playground.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
