I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize