he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
