Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
