$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
