Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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