Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
