You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
