she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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