This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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