Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
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He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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