I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize