its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Drunk is a universal language darling
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