Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
