Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
