i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
