You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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