Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
