I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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