Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize