): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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