It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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