he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do herpes really smell.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
