I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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