I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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