My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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