chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize