My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
