I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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