i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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