The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
