Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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