508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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