Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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