u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
