How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
