Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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