We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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