It's Friday. Sex?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I forget how to act sober
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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