I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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