Just cropdusted the office
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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