it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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