We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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