Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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