my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
farters have to be the big spoon...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize