please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
