That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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