it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
