oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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