Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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