looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
