Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
